Man Without God

“I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh…”
Song of Solomon 5:2a

Today, I lay staring at a problem for which I have no answer. Many are the sleepless nights of late. Naturally, my contemplations reach for the Counsel to which I have grown accustomed to seek at such times. Often have I heard His voice. It comes from within, yet not from my mind. My mind is all confounded. I know when I have reached the boundaries of my own intervention, especially today. I am tired, but since this problem will not resolve, I cannot rest. I tell all this to my Counsellor.

This conversation burns in my chest. It was barely a half-hour ago that we had it. I feel you should know it also.

O God, do you see this? I have assurance that He does.

O Lord, I cannot fix this. He knows.

If I could just fix this, if I could only think of a solution, then…

“Then what?” He says.

Then I would not have to lie here awake talking to You. The words snatch. I realize what I’ve just said.

“O my son,” He chides. “What would you be without Me?”

“Is it so bad to talk to Me? Would you have roused yourself without this distress? Would you have sought My counsel if you could figure it out on your own?”

Ah, my soul! What would I be without God? What is a sinner with no Saviour? What is a body without breath? A child with no father? A day without a sunrise? A springtime without a single flower? A scholar with no book? I am nothing without Him!

Convicted, I apologized to Him. Forgive me, my Lord. So foolish was I, and ignorant. I was as a beast before thee. I am awake now, because I need you. I always have, and I always will. Thank you.

Down the stairs, to the chair where the sleepless nights pass. Only tonight I sit and sing to Him; softly my memory sings with the blessed Marshall family the words of Francis Ridley Havergal. And more sincerely now that He has so sweetly spoke to me.

I could not do without Thee,
O Savior of the lost,
Whose precious blood redeemed me
At such tremendous cost;
Thy righteousness, Thy pardon,
Thy precious blood, must be
My only hope and comfort,
My glory and my plea.

I could not do without Thee;
I cannot stand alone,
I have no strength or goodness,
No wisdom of my own;
But Thou, beloved Savior,
Art all in all to me,
And weakness will be power
If I lean hard on Thee.

I could not do without Thee;
No other friend can read
The spirit’s strange, deep longings,
Interpreting its need;
No human heart could enter
Each dim recess of mine,
And soothe, and hush, and calm it,
O blessed Lord, but Thine.

I could not do without Thee,
For years are fleeting fast,
And soon in solemn loneness
The river must be passed;
But Thou wilt never leave me,
And though the waves roll high,
I know Thou wilt be near me,
And whisper, “It is I.”